与我为邻

转载自境界，原文

2018年，一部由汤姆·汉克斯出演的纪录片《与我为邻》（Won't You Be My Neighbor？）在烂番茄网获得99%的好评。该片的主人公弗雷德·罗杰斯（Fred Rogers）是美国最著名、影响最深远的儿童电视节目《罗杰斯先生的邻居》（Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood）的制作人及主持人。他从1968年开始主持的《罗杰斯先生的邻居》，影响了四十年间一代代的美国儿童。

但很少有人知道，这位被称为“儿童电视之父”的传奇人物还是一位牧师。在1950年代那个电视还很稀奇、属于不折不扣的新媒体的时候，他所在教会的领袖们不同意他进入电视这个新行业，几乎扼杀了这个日后覆盖了10%的美国家庭、每天有500万到1000万儿童观众的节目。

孩子们想要和这个安静又有点驼背的中年男人呆在一起。罗杰斯用他那个时代的尖端技术——电视，向孩子们传达了最深刻的价值观——怜悯、理解、饶恕、接纳。2017年这部886集的超长剧集重新播出仅几天，就吸引了超过100万的点击量。

当罗杰斯遇到作为奢侈品的电视

罗杰斯于1928年3月20日出生于宾夕法尼亚州拉特罗布（Latrobe）。母亲南希·罗杰斯（Nancy McFeely Rogers）和父亲詹姆斯·罗杰斯（James Hillis Rogers）都是乐于助人的慈善家，他们的基督信仰和慷慨捐赠对罗杰斯的成长带来很大影响。

罗杰斯的一位儿时好友埃德·肖沃尔特（Ed Yogi Showalter）记得，即使是在上小学时，罗杰斯就受到了父母的影响。“罗杰斯向他的父母报告说，他班上的孩子正在讨论一个小同学的父母甚至买不起鞋子给他穿。没过几天，这个男孩就穿着崭新的高帮鞋出现在学校。”罗杰斯和这些家庭的孩子们一起上学，他为父母的善行感到自豪。

他曾说过：“生活中真正的问题不是我们拥有多少祝福，而是我们用我们的祝福做了什么。有些人拥有许多祝福并把它们珍藏起来，有些人拥有的很少，却把所有的都给了别人。”

他们一家聚会的拉特罗布长老会教堂正是母亲南希奉献建造的。作为社区忠实的守护者，罗杰斯的父母每周都会写一些支票帮助需要的人。母亲南希还联合几个拉特罗布教会包括长老会、路德会、卫理公会和圣公会，组成了一个名为“鱼”（Fish）的牧师和志愿者网络。

南希从牧师、其他志愿者，甚至从罗杰斯在学校的经历中收集情报。当她得知有一个家庭需要帮助时，她会把这个信息带给“Fish”，这个组织会制定计划来帮助他们。如果需要钱，南希可以动用自己的资金购买衣服、食物或医疗。

罗杰斯得过严重的儿童哮喘，这使父母对他很有保护意识，无微不至地照顾体弱多病的罗杰斯。母亲注意到他在三四岁时对音乐表现出强烈的兴趣，最终，5岁的罗杰斯学起了钢琴。

1946年，二战刚结束，罗杰斯从高中毕业。他对摆在面前的各种可能性感到兴奋，最终选择了达特茅斯学院（Dartmouth College）。父亲希望他毕业能回到家乡跟他一起做生意。但他告诉家人，他打算在大学毕业后成为长老会牧师。他计划去附近备受推崇的西方神学院就读（Western Theological Seminary，后来被称为匹兹堡神学院）。

但在大四复活节假期，罗杰斯遇到了一件即将改变世界以及他自己生活的新事物——电视。1951年，电视还是一种新奇的奢侈品，几乎没有美国家庭拥有电视，更不要说有谁能预料到它将以如此激烈的方式改变文化。

当时，家里买了一台最早的拉特罗布牌电视机。罗杰斯选择收听儿童节目，因为他对儿童和教育有着浓厚的兴趣。电视令他既震惊又着迷，他近乎本能地迅速把握到这种媒介所蕴含的非凡力量，特别是理解它在教育方面的作用，尽管当时其他人只是把它当作消遣。

险些被扼杀的新媒体事工

尽管罗杰斯很有远见地看到这种新媒体的潜力，但他也对电视节目中粗俗低级的内容感到厌恶。“我想，这可能是一个很好的教育工具，为什么不加以善用呢？所以我对父母说，我想我不会马上去神学院，我想也许我要进入电视行业……我们看看能做些什么。”假期结束回到大学，罗杰斯向朋友透露，他想为孩子们做一些有教育意义且轻松愉快的事情。

由于罗杰斯改变了计划，他和父亲之间出现了一些紧张时刻。父亲原本已经接受他读神学院，现在则对罗杰斯的新想法感到失望。但他们还是尊重他，于是罗杰斯如愿以偿进了电视行业。

当他在媒体的事业蒸蒸日上时，罗杰斯并没有忘记读神学的心志。他边工作，边在神学院读书。1963年，罗杰斯从神学院毕业，获得了硕士学位。

他觉得他已经准备好把他的牧师服事搬到电视上，为孩子们服务。但令他吃惊的是，匹兹堡长老会的长老们并不同意。尽管罗杰斯有服事儿童主日学的经验，但长老们觉得他应该遵循传统的路径：去教会做牧师。当地的长老会有权决定类似的任命，罗杰斯被困住了。

根据罗杰斯的好友比尔·巴克牧师（Bill Barker）的说法，匹兹堡长老会的领袖非常保守，缺乏想象力，看不到罗杰斯的想法的潜力。

最终比尔·巴克牧师应邀参加了一次长老会议，他动情地请求教会领袖同意罗杰斯为儿童布道。他说：“这里有一个人，他自豪地站在电视摄像机前讲道。成千上万的孩子们聚集在一起，他的会众是从两三岁到七八岁的小孩子。这是一个真正被上帝呼召的人，就像在座的各位一样。”

长老们心软了，勉强同意了罗杰斯试图通过电视建立自己长老会事工的异象。当时，年轻的牧师从美国任何一个地方的长老会出来，都是一个很不寻常的计划。罗杰斯相信，他能以一种全新的职业生活方式，把电视、教育、事工、木偶、戏剧、音乐等等结合在一起，创作出他曾经想象过的最重要的作品。

他只是需要一个电视节目。作为长老会牧师，他把当时这种全新的媒介巧妙融合了基督教价值观，为人们营造了一个让人安心、充满吸引力的社区。罗杰斯通过他温和、缓慢但富有质感的节目教会了几代美国父母：人生最初几年是多么重要，在那个年龄段里社交和情绪学习比认知学习更重要。数以百万计的观众长大成人，坚持这些价值观，对罗杰斯所传达的信息保持忠诚。

我进入电视业是因为我很讨厌它

罗杰斯于1953年加入全国第一家社区赞助的教育类电视台——匹兹堡WQED，并于1966年开始了《罗杰斯先生的邻居》的制作。

罗杰斯始终坚信，要在屏幕上展示现实，即使是残酷的现实。1970年，当他制作一部关于死亡的完整剧集时，罗杰斯把镜头对准了片场的水族馆，他邀请观众一起和他喂鱼。接下来镜头聚焦在水族馆底部的一条死鱼。

“哦，那下面是什么？他望着镜头里电视机前的孩子们问道。你看见一条死鱼了吗？一条死鱼可能是一条完全没有呼吸或不能游泳的鱼。”这个画面使孩子们非常震惊，但罗杰斯很冷静地开始对死亡、失去、痛苦和生命意义的探索。

他拿起一张小网，小心翼翼地把手伸进水族馆，把死鱼捞出来。他告诉孩子们，他读到过一个故事：有时，如果你把一条死鱼放进加了大量盐的水中，鱼会被震醒。他把鱼放在防水袋里，从架子上拿了一罐盐，撒在袋子里。什么都没有发生。他轻声说：“我想盐帮不了我们。”他拿起一条纸巾，把尸体放在纸做的小棺材里。然后取出一把泥铲，小心翼翼在一棵常青树旁挖了一个小洞，他把尸体放在这个特别的坟墓里，拍了拍土。

罗杰斯没有告诉悲伤的孩子们，一切都会好起来的。没有这样简单的安慰，相反，他分享了自己对死亡和失去的感受，以及在整个节目中反复重申的真理：生命确实在继续，不要去回避这些看似悲惨的事情。

他承认：“我进入电视行业是因为我非常讨厌它”。但1963年获得神学学位后，他意识到，媒体将是培养那些愿意观看和聆听的人的绝佳工具。罗杰斯的节目有力地提醒我们，基督徒有潜力改变他们的行业，而不是简单顺应它。

正如乔伊斯·米尔曼（Joyce Millman）在1999年、《罗杰斯先生的邻居》开播30周年的时候所写的，罗杰斯一直抵制商业推广、时尚潮流和技术闪光……儿童的基本需求不会随着时间而改变。这种对超越时间的事物的关注帮助这个节目变得具有永恒意义。

在《福音联盟》的资深编辑布雷特·麦奎恩（Brett McCracken）眼中，作为牧师，罗杰斯把儿童视为自己的使命目标，把电视视为自己的工具。虽然赞助节目的政府不让罗杰斯公开宣讲宗教信息，但罗杰斯确实呈现了许多基督教价值观。

在纪录片《与我为邻》中，观众被一个个场景所感动，无论是与残疾男孩一起唱歌，还是在一个种族分裂的社会里为黑人洗脚，导演传达出罗杰斯的努力——他使用电视这一当时的新媒体手段，展现了邻里之间的友好关系，像基督一样爱被忽视的人。罗杰斯用温柔而专注的聆听方式，塑造了一种尊贵、被爱的存在感。如今在这个争夺注意力的分心的时代，这种对存在感的重视几乎已成为一种失落的艺术。

麦奎恩说：“在今天这个支离破碎的世界里，媒体如何能被用来搭建桥梁而不是围墙呢？这是纪录片《与我为邻》适时提出的问题之一。我们也许永远不会有另一个罗杰斯先生，但我们不应该像他那样利用媒体来陶冶、美化和塑造美德吗？想要用福音影响文化的基督徒应该看看这部纪录片，并注意罗杰斯的做法。他清楚地表达了自己的意思，但却没有说教。”

我们所能做的最伟大的事

对罗杰斯来说，每个孩子都需要特别的关注，因为每个孩子都需要确信自己是被爱的人。这是一种深刻的信念，从罗杰斯的童年时代起就一直激励着他。在《罗杰斯先生的邻居》的每一集开头，他都会唱道：“你愿意做我的邻居吗？”

他是认真的。罗杰斯拥有一种独特而强大的能力，能够给人以安慰，包括许多童年早已逝去的人。他帮助一代又一代的孩子了解他们不断发展的世界，以及他们在其中的潜力。

对于罗杰斯在电视媒体中所展现出来的真正的勇敢，1981年那一集节目有最清晰地体现。那一集讲述的是10岁的男孩、四肢瘫痪、智商极高的杰夫·厄兰格（Jeff Erlanger），他从四岁起就坐在轮椅上。镜头聚焦在罗杰斯身上，他问杰夫轮椅的机械装置，语气和他问杰夫最喜欢的冰淇淋口味时没有什么不同。

当杰夫以一种平静、慎重的方式详细描述他的身体状况时，罗杰斯全神贯注地听着，称赞杰夫用一种可能对其他人有所帮助的方式谈论此事的能力：你的父母一定为你感到骄傲。罗杰斯在片中说：爱是一切的根源。

“没有什么能取代无条件的爱对孩子生活的影响……孩子喜欢归属，他们渴望归属。”罗杰斯并不盲目乐观。他认为孩子们不应该对生活中的困难视而不见，从暗杀到恐怖主义再到种族主义，但他想给孩子们一些工具，让他们知道他们被爱着。

1968年，肯尼迪遇刺，当巨大的恐惧蔓延全国，成人们陷入恐惧悲伤中自顾不暇时，罗杰斯更关注的是他最爱的孩子们。“我一直担忧着公共媒体上展示给孩子们的暴力画面，我请求你们保护我们的孩子，我担心这些孩子们更难承受。我们可以带着孩子们去野餐，去河边走走，或者至少给他们一个拥抱。”

纪录片中提到，罗杰斯的神学思想是“爱你的邻舍，如同爱自己”。他把每次与人的交流，当作是他在做的最深刻的心灵交流。“我认为每个人都渴望被爱，渴望得知他或她是讨人爱的，因此我们所能做的最伟大的事，就是帮助别人知道他们被爱也有爱的能力。”

“From the time you were very little, you’ve had people who have smiled you into smiling, people who have talked you into talking, sung you into singing, loved you into loving. Let’s just take some time to think of those extra special people, some may be right here, some may be far away, some may even be in heaven, no matter where they are, deep down you know, they’ve always wanted what was best for you, they’ve always cared about you beyond measure and have encouraged you to be true to the best within you.”

“You know, I think everybody longs to be loved, and longs to know he or she is lovable, and consequently, the greatest thing that we can do is to help somebody know that they’re loved and capable of loving.”

“You have to make each day a special day, by just being yourself, there’s nobody else in the whole world who’s exactly like you, and people can like you as exactly as you are, you are special.” By Fred Rogers

忘记这是否是我今年给的第一个A。也许你不知道本片主角Fred Rogers 是谁，但可以肯定的是，只要你用心看了本片，最后结尾时一定会泪流满面，不是因为悲惨而哭泣，是因为深深的感动。

一开始我也不清楚Fred Rogers 是谁，所以本片最初上映时我都没去看。后来发现好评如潮又去补课，非常庆幸了解了这位优秀儿童节目主持人如此正面积极的人生。为什么我们大部分人并不清楚他是谁？因为我们不是在美国长大的，没有从小看他的节目，特别是如果你还没有孩子可能更不会关心到儿童节目。影院里同来看的大部分是50岁-80岁的人，相信都是被他曾打动、影响过的一代。很多老人都带着轮椅，拄着拐杖，与老伴相互搀扶着来捧场，真是一时间让我以为自己买到了“老年干部专场”的票影片已经上映了快一个月，却依然白天都满场，而且片尾大家都在擦眼泪。第一次感受到一个深入美国人民心中的公众形象所带来的积极影响。

观影过程中，出现了Fred Rogers创作的布偶角色小老虎丹尼尔(Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood)我才恍然大悟，原来他就是目前家喻户晓美国动画角色小老虎丹尼尔（的创作者而制片。我儿子目前就常在电视或书里看到小老虎丹尼尔的角色。

Fred Rogers 早前要作一名牧师，但他非常重视儿童教育，认为对小孩子的正确引导对他们的成长很重要，于是在PBS开创了自己的儿童节目。他通过布偶角色小老虎丹尼尔，以简单易懂的方式给小朋友讲述作人的道理，生活里遇到挫折要怎么处理，要如何看待自己等问题。甚至也会用这个节目让孩子们学会理解成人现实中发生的真实事件，比如911， 总统被刺杀，战争等。他也会通过与黑人一起泡脚来教会小朋友不要种族歧视。他的方式非常温和有耐心，最终成为影响时代人的榜样。

在他之前，我还真不知道有任何成人公众人物对小朋友和家长们有如此大的影响。但他的一些说法也有人不同意。比如他告诉小朋友要认识到自己的与众不同，每个人天生都是独特的，有人欣赏的。这让孩子们有自信，但同时也被人当作是给懒惰找借口。一些家长觉得这样他们的孩子就不努力了。也就是说，Fred Rogers 正面鼓励式的教育，与一些家长贬低攀比鞭策式的教育方式矛盾。但说实话，我就是在贬低式教育下长大的，我不认为这样的方式有利于儿童，反而是多多表扬，比较正面的引导和鼓励，真的可以让孩子有更加积极健康的心态。

当然，每个家长的教育方式都不同，确实很难说对错。但在抛开这些不同看法外，Fred Rogers 处理矛盾和争议的方式也十分值得大家学习，那就是，他总是去想更为正面积极的事，并坚持自己的原则。在他被批评时，他并没有反击，也没有因此就改变自己，而是继续鼓励大家去时常回想对自己有帮助，有恩德的人，并感谢他们的恩惠，这真的会让人从心底里感受到更多的爱，而不是仇恨。

本纪录片最独特的地方是采访了很多他合作过的同事和家人，但谈及的主要是他的事业与为人，而不是挖掘他的隐私。整个影片拍摄手法和剪辑及配乐都十分符合Fred Rogers 本人乐观的态度，很多场景十分打动人心。推荐给作家长或对美国文化历史有兴趣的观众们

另外，汤姆汉克斯也将在一部即将开拍的电影里饰演他，用人物传记片的方式讲述他的人生。汤姆汉克斯之前已经出演过迪士尼先生，声音和外形也确实非常和蔼可亲。

本片烂番茄99%好评度，有望竞争明年奥斯卡最佳纪录片。

Fred Rogers 真的好棒！这才是我们需要的儿童教育啊！

让孩子有自信，能接受错误，有爱自己和爱他人的能力。

It's you I like

It's not the things you wear

It's not the way you do your hair

But it's you I like

The way you are right now

The way deep down inside you

Not the things that hide you

Not your fancy chair

That's just beside you

But it's you I like

Every part of you

Your skin, your eyes, your feelings

Whether old or new

I hope that you'll remember

Even when you are feeling blue

That it's you I like

It's you yourself

It's you

I like

From the time you were very little

You have people who have smiled you into smiling

People who have talked to you into talking

Sang you into singing

Loved you into loving

Now think about somebody who's helped you along the way

For one minute, I'm going to time you.

Let's just take some time to think of those extra special people.

Some of them may be right here.

Some may be far away.

Some may even be in heaven.

Now matter where they are,

deep down you know they've always wanted what was best for you.

They've always cared about you beyond measure,

and have encouraged you to be true,

to the best within you.

从影院出来的时候，碰到两个阿姨一边抹眼睛一边说：“我知道我会这样，可我还是来看了。我需要好好哭一场。”

我并不认识Fred Rogers，可是从影片开始我就哭成一团，到影片结束，哭得上气不接下气。不是因为难过，而是因为太温暖了。

上周偶然一次抱着枕头的动作让我回忆起来了小时候被抱着或者抱着家人睡觉的感觉。也可能是抱着被子。那时候人小，随便一个什么东西抱在手里就觉得巨大，然后就有深深的安全感。再一次通过动作回忆起这个感觉，幸福地在床上打滚傻笑了很久，然后发现也很久没有这样傻笑了，再然后就被治愈了。

这个片子给人也是类似的感觉。你有多久没有被别人确定地、眼睛对着眼睛地说：

You are a very special person. There is only one like you in the whole world. There's never been anyone exactly like you before, and there will never be again. Only you. And people can like you exactly as you are.

因为文化语境不同，我记忆中其实从来没有听到过这句“And people can like you exactly as you are.” 所以在听到Fred笃定地说出这句话的时候，我联想到前段时间的不安全感，无法克制地哭了。（这句话是我网上找到的。影片里的版本还带有You are capable of loving exactly as you are的意思，更是戳到我心里。）

单纯地无条件地被安慰，这是打动我的第一层。

第二层是对不安的宽容。

油管视频

影片里小老虎对漂亮姐姐诉说着自我怀疑，漂亮姐姐安慰他，你不是一个错误。你会以为，小老虎就此开心地笑了，但是Fred没有让他这么做。相反，小老虎和漂亮姐姐的对话变成了一个自我怀疑和安慰的二重唱。不安全感可能永远存在，哪怕是毫无缘由的不安全感。但是这没关系，我们可以让内心多一个声音，把它变成一个二重唱。仅仅是这两者的共存就可以填补内心的缝隙。

Fred还在节目里邀请了一个马上就要动重大手术的孩子。他问孩子：“你也会有沮丧的时候吧？”孩子点头。然后他说：“但不是现在。现在我们很开心。”孩子又点头。短短几句话，表达了理解、安慰、支持、信任，成了一个二重唱。

第三层是在给予安慰时，Fred如何应对自身的不安。挑战者号事件和911发生时，Fred不知道该如何应对这些灾难。他自己也在深深的不安和不确定之中，不知道如何向孩子解释。但是他依然站出来，给予了一个连自己都不甚理解的安慰。影片里，他仿佛是用尽了全身的力气，在镜头面前藏起不安，录了几句鼓励的话，一说完就露出了“刚才那样真的可以吗？”的神色。我在他身上发现，一个人不需要成为一个完人才能给予别人支持，爱和支持不需要百分之一百的自信和笃定也能有它们的力量。

要说不足的话，影片试图对Fred的人生空缺进行填补，仿佛是为了塑造一个更完美的形象。这些填补我不知道是否有必要。但是如果未来再碰到不确定的时刻，我愿意再把这部片拿出来看一看。它像柔软巨大的枕头一样，像对待孩子一样对待我，唤醒我孩子时的思维方式。然后，或许，这个孩子能解决大人解决不了的问题。

依稀记得之前境界公众号推送过他，昨天偶尔看了这部片子，才明白为何这个身穿毛衣脚踩乐福鞋的儒雅先生成为许多孩子童年最美好的记忆和陪伴。

看完后，又找了罗杰斯先生的一些访谈去看。下面按着关键词散记一些内容。

爱

罗杰斯先生说话有种独特的能力，真诚，平和，充满对人的尊重，理解，接纳……这一切都是从爱而来。

他的核心理念是爱，而其中一方面在于接纳：

"Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now."

爱的另一个体现在于倾听：

"Listening is where love begins: listening to ourselves and then to our neighbors."

片中还提到一个有趣的细节，就是罗杰斯先生喜欢数字143。1代表我（I），4代表爱（love），3代表（you）。他经常游泳完去称重，体重143 pounds (~65kg)。他从1960s时候基本保持着这个体重。马友友很惊叹他能一直做到这一点。

我能想到的诗意解读是，他的生命都是爱的分量。

他还写创作了一首歌：

Many Ways To Say I Love You

There are many ways to say I love you There are many ways to say I care about you. Many ways, many ways, many ways to say I love you.

There's the singing way to say I love you There's the singing something someone really likes to hear, The singing way, the singing way, the singing way to say I love you.

Cleaning up a room can say I love you. Hanging up a coat before you're asked to Drawing special pictures for the holidays and Making plays.

You'll find many ways to say I love you. You'll find many ways to understand what love is. Many ways, many ways, many ways to say I love you.

Singing, cleaning, Drawing, being Understanding, Love you.

倾听与安静

罗杰斯先生善于倾听，在倾听中全神贯注，适时提问。他不仅听见说出来的话语，也在听话语背后的人。

“More and more I’ve come to understand that listening is one of the most important things we can do for one another. Whether the other be an adult or a child, our engagement in listening to who that person is can often be our greatest gift.” ~Fred Rogers

安静在罗杰斯先生看来是被现代社会被所低估的宝贵礼物。

Silence today is so rare, so undervalued, that it is an act of resistance.

他在2002年在达特茅斯学院的毕业演讲中，专门给了大家1分钟时间，去回忆一路走来帮助和关爱过他们的人（纪录片也以同样方式结尾）。他说：

I’d like to give you all an invisible gift. A gift of a silent minute to think about those who have helped you become who you are today。

尊贵与独特

罗杰斯非常看重孩童每个人的独特和宝贵。

他有首著名的歌：

It's you I like

It's not the things you wear

It's not the way you do your hair

But it's you I like

The way you are right now

The way down deep inside you

Not the things that hide you

Not your toys

They're just beside you

But it's you I like

Every part of you

Your skin, your eyes, your feelings

Whether old or new

I hope that you'll remember

Even when you're feeling blue

That it's you I like

It's you yourself

It's you

It's you I like

片子里很令人感动的一幕，就是罗杰斯先生和坐在轮椅上的男孩Jeff Erlanger一起唱这首歌。

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFmpfEFjdFM

工作和呼召

罗杰斯先生原计划读完神学后成为牧师，但是他后来决定选择电视行业进行侍奉。他进入电视行业，是因为觉得电视能够本能够很好的工具，却被滥用。他说：我进入电视行业，不是因为我喜欢，而是因为不喜欢。他期待能够通过做儿童教育节目来服侍孩童。

他的电视节目始于1968年，美国动荡的一年，节目终于2001年，网络时代的曙光之下。

他说，在他看来，从镜头到观众之间的空间是神圣的。因为节目必须保证包容性，他不能使用信仰的语言。但是他一切的节目内容都在传达从信仰而来的价值观。节目所有的台本和歌曲都是他用心所写，他还负责了大部分的布偶表演。

他从不粉饰这个世界，而是用孩子们能理解的语言和表达，向他们解释许多大人们逃避的话题：肯尼迪被刺、哥伦比亚号爆炸、死亡、离婚……帮助孩子们中理解这个复杂和令人困惑的世界。

他从不把收看他节目的孩子们作为商业目标以获取利益。他所作的，是帮助孩子们意识到自身的价值。他的节目布景里一边是他平淡无奇的客厅，一边是make believe小镇，却成了孩子们童年最宝贵的财富。

他的真诚和对孩子们的爱，甚至打动了参议员 （起初态度非常轻蔑），为PBS电视台获得了2千万美元的资金支持。（//www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKy7ljRr0AA）

片中有个片段，是罗杰斯先生邀请黑人警官一起泡脚，非常自然和真诚。当时的大背景是，因为种族隔离政策，黑人不允许在公众游泳池游泳。他通过这一简单的举动，向孩子们传达什么是爱和接纳。

罗杰斯先生的独特之处，就如Brett McCracken写的影评题目所说：“他让良善显得吸引人（Mister Rogers Made Goodness Attractive） 。”

过去的经历

罗杰斯先生在访谈里说，开始工作后，有两件的事对他很有造就。一件事是刚开始在纽约的电视台工作，有些人对待他没有尊重而如同仆人。另一次，他希望询问一位明星可否和她合影，对方轻蔑的拒绝。这些事他希望尽力带着尊重对待他人。有人希望和他合影，他也从不拒绝，因为他知道那种感受。

他非常认真的对待工作、生活、他人，但是并不太把自己当回事，而是非常谦卑。

——

附：

Fred Rogers’ 2002 Commencement Address

Wow. What a privilege to be with you all. Since I’ve arrived here in Hanover, many people have greeted me by saying, “It’s a beautiful day in this neighborhood.”Well, indeed it is a beautiful day, but before I begin, I’d like you to know that I recognize that you, who live and work here, have had many days, particularly during these last several months, that have been far from beautiful. You’ve had a painful time, and you’ve handled it with dignity. I feel certain that the Zantop’s generous spirits inspire you. And it’s a great privilege for me to be with you all.

When I was at Dartmouth in the late 1940s, the tuition, room, and board all added up to $1,100 a year. Nobody owned a home computer, and hardly anyone had a television set. And those who did, there was a choice of three channels. I’m not sure if Jeanne Shaheen was even born yet, but very few people would have guessed that within 50 years, a woman would be governor or New Hampshire. Yes. When I was here, the first word of the alma mater was “Men. Men of Dartmouth give a rouse.”Well, now the first word is "Dear." Some things change for the better.

During my first year here, I lived right over there at 101 Middle Mass. And I had two roommates. I had a professor, over there, who did his best to scare everyone in his class, and he gave me the lowest grade that I ever had in any school anywhere. But I also had an astronomy professor, George Dimitrov, who looked for and found what was best in each of his students. When I look at the night sky, I still think of that extra special, kind man.

Dartmouth is many things to each of us, and I'm grateful to Jim and Susan Wright for all that they have done for this school. And I’m grateful to my old friend, Chick Koop, for all that he has done for all of us. And I congratulate every one of you who is being honored in any way during this Commencement weekend.

Our world hangs like a magnificent jewel in the vastness of space. Every one of us is a part of that jewel. A facet of that jewel. And in the perspective of infinity, our differences are infinitesimal. We are intimately related. May we never even pretend that we are not.

Have you heard my favorite story that came from the Seattle Special Olympics? Well, for the 100-yard dash, there were nine contestants, all of them so-called physically or mentally disabled. All nine of them assembled at the starting line, and at the sound of the gun, they took off. But not long afterward, one little boy stumbled and fell, and hurt his knee and began to cry. The other eight children heard him crying. They slowed down, turned around, and ran back to him. Every one of them ran back to him. One little girl with Down Syndrome bent down and kissed the boy, and said, “This'll make it better.”The little boy got up, and he and the rest of the runners linked their arms together, and joyfully walked to the finish line. They all finished the race at the same time. And when they did, everyone in that stadium stood up, and clapped, and whistled, and cheered for a long, long time. People who were there are still telling this story with great delight. And you know why. Because deep down, we know that what matters in this life is more than winning for ourselves. What really matters is helping others win, too. Even if it means slowing down and changing our course now and then.

Anicius Manlius Severinus Boethius—what a name—was the last of the great Roman philosophers, and the first of the scholastics of the Middle Ages. Fifteen hundred years ago, Boethius wrote this sentence, “O happy race of mortals, if your hearts are ruled as is the universe, by Love.”

I was once invited to sit in on a master class of six young cellists from the Pittsburgh Youth Symphony Orchestra. The master teacher was Yo-Yo Ma. Now, Yo-Yo is the most other-oriented genius I’ve every known. His music comes from a very deep place within his being. And during that master class, Yo-Yo gently led those young cellists into understandings about their instruments, their music, and their selves, which some of them told me later, they’d carry with them forever.

I can still see the face of one young man who had just finished playing a movement of Brahms’Cello Sonata, when Yo-Yo said, “Nobody else can make the sound you make.”Of course, he meant that as a compliment to the young man. Nevertheless, he meant that also for everyone in the class. Nobody else can make the sound you make. Nobody else can choose to make that particular sound in that particular way.

I’m very much interested in choices, and what it is, and who it is, that enable us human beings to make the choices we make all through our lives. What choices lead to ethnic cleansing? What choices lead to healing? What choices lead to the destruction of the environment, the erosion of the Sabbath, suicide bombings, or teenagers shooting teachers. What choices encourage heroism in the midst of chaos?

I have a lot of framed things in my office, which people have given to me through the years. And on my walls are Greek, and Hebrew, and Russian, and Chinese. And beside my chair, is a French sentence from Saint-Exupery’sLittle Prince. It reads, “L’essential est invisible pour les yeux.”What is essential is invisible to the eye. Well, what is essential about you? And who are those who have helped you become the person you are? Anyone who has ever graduated from a college, anyone who has ever been able to sustain a good work, has had at least one person, and often many, who have believed in him or her. We just don’t get to be competent human beings without a lot of different investments from others.

I’d like to give you all an invisible gift. A gift of a silent minute to think about those who have helped you become who you are today. Some of them may be here right now. Some may be far away. Some, like my astronomy professor, may even be in Heaven. But wherever they are, if they’ve loved you, and encouraged you, and wanted what was best in life for you, they’re right inside your self. And I feel that you deserve quiet time, on this special occasion, to devote some thought to them. So, let’s just take a minute, in honor of those that have cared about us all along the way. One silent minute.

Whomever you’ve been thinking about, imagine how grateful they must be, that during your silent times, you remember how important they are to you. It’s not the honors and the prizes, and the fancy outsides of life which ultimately nourish our souls. It’s the knowing that we can be trusted. That we never have to fear the truth. That the bedrock of our lives, from which we make our choices, is very good stuff.

There’s a neighborhood song that is meant for the child in each of us, and I’dlike to give you the words of that song right now. “It’s you I like, it’s not the things you wear. It’s not the way you do your hair, but it’s you I like. The way you are right now, the way down deep inside you. Not the things that hide you. Not your caps and gowns, they’re just beside you. But it’s you I like. Every part of you. Your skin, your eyes, your feelings. Whether old or new, I hope that you remember, even when you're feeling blue, that it’s you I like. It’s you, yourself, it’s you. It’s you I like.”

And what that ultimately means, of course, is that you don't ever have to do anything sensational for people to love you. When I say it’s you I like, I’m talking about that part of you that knows that life is far more than anything you can ever see, or hear, or touch. That deep part of you, that allows you to stand for those things, without which humankind cannot survive. Love that conquers hate. Peace that rises triumphant over war. And justice that proves more powerful than greed.

So, in all that you do in all of your life, I wish you the strength and the grace to make those choices which will allow you and your neighbor to become the best of whoever you are. Congratulations to you all.

//news.dartmouth.edu/news/2018/03/revisiting-fred-rogers-2002-commencement-address

其他链接

//www.faithgateway.com/mr-rogers-quiet-revolution/#.XxUnsfj0nlw

//www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/mr-rogers-goodness-attractive/

//www.russellmoore.com/2018/03/21/mister-rogers-still-matters/

片段

Sometimes I Wonder If I'm A Mistake (with duet) - Fred Rogers

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dACAme8FFw

When I was at Dartmouth in the late 1940s, the tuition, room, and board all added up to $1,100 a year. Nobody owned a home computer, and hardly anyone had a television set. And those who did, there was a choice of three channels. I’m not sure if Jeanne Shaheen was even born yet, but very few people would have guessed that within 50 years, a woman would be governor or New Hampshire. Yes. When I was here, the first word of the alma mater was “Men. Men of Dartmouth give a rouse.”Well, now the first word is "Dear." Some things change for the better.

During my first year here, I lived right over there at 101 Middle Mass. And I had two roommates. I had a professor, over there, who did his best to scare everyone in his class, and he gave me the lowest grade that I ever had in any school anywhere. But I also had an astronomy professor, George Dimitrov, who looked for and found what was best in each of his students. When I look at the night sky, I still think of that extra special, kind man.

Dartmouth is many things to each of us, and I'm grateful to Jim and Susan Wright for all that they have done for this school. And I’m grateful to my old friend, Chick Koop, for all that he has done for all of us. And I congratulate every one of you who is being honored in any way during this Commencement weekend.

Our world hangs like a magnificent jewel in the vastness of space. Every one of us is a part of that jewel. A facet of that jewel. And in the perspective of infinity, our differences are infinitesimal. We are intimately related. May we never even pretend that we are not.

Have you heard my favorite story that came from the Seattle Special Olympics? Well, for the 100-yard dash, there were nine contestants, all of them so-called physically or mentally disabled. All nine of them assembled at the starting line, and at the sound of the gun, they took off. But not long afterward, one little boy stumbled and fell, and hurt his knee and began to cry. The other eight children heard him crying. They slowed down, turned around, and ran back to him. Every one of them ran back to him. One little girl with Down Syndrome bent down and kissed the boy, and said, “This'll make it better.”The little boy got up, and he and the rest of the runners linked their arms together, and joyfully walked to the finish line. They all finished the race at the same time. And when they did, everyone in that stadium stood up, and clapped, and whistled, and cheered for a long, long time. People who were there are still telling this story with great delight. And you know why. Because deep down, we know that what matters in this life is more than winning for ourselves. What really matters is helping others win, too. Even if it means slowing down and changing our course now and then.

Anicius Manlius Severinus Boethius—what a name—was the last of the great Roman philosophers, and the first of the scholastics of the Middle Ages. Fifteen hundred years ago, Boethius wrote this sentence, “O happy race of mortals, if your hearts are ruled as is the universe, by Love.”

I was once invited to sit in on a master class of six young cellists from the Pittsburgh Youth Symphony Orchestra. The master teacher was Yo-Yo Ma. Now, Yo-Yo is the most other-oriented genius I’ve every known. His music comes from a very deep place within his being. And during that master class, Yo-Yo gently led those young cellists into understandings about their instruments, their music, and their selves, which some of them told me later, they’d carry with them forever.

I can still see the face of one young man who had just finished playing a movement of Brahms’Cello Sonata, when Yo-Yo said, “Nobody else can make the sound you make.”Of course, he meant that as a compliment to the young man. Nevertheless, he meant that also for everyone in the class. Nobody else can make the sound you make. Nobody else can choose to make that particular sound in that particular way.

I’m very much interested in choices, and what it is, and who it is, that enable us human beings to make the choices we make all through our lives. What choices lead to ethnic cleansing? What choices lead to healing? What choices lead to the destruction of the environment, the erosion of the Sabbath, suicide bombings, or teenagers shooting teachers. What choices encourage heroism in the midst of chaos?

I have a lot of framed things in my office, which people have given to me through the years. And on my walls are Greek, and Hebrew, and Russian, and Chinese. And beside my chair, is a French sentence from Saint-Exupery’s Little Prince. It reads, “L’essential est invisible pour les yeux.”What is essential is invisible to the eye. Well, what is essential about you? And who are those who have helped you become the person you are? Anyone who has ever graduated from a college, anyone who has ever been able to sustain a good work, has had at least one person, and often many, who have believed in him or her. We just don’t get to be competent human beings without a lot of different investments from others.

I’d like to give you all an invisible gift. A gift of a silent minute to think about those who have helped you become who you are today. Some of them may be here right now. Some may be far away. Some, like my astronomy professor, may even be in Heaven. But wherever they are, if they’ve loved you, and encouraged you, and wanted what was best in life for you, they’re right inside your self. And I feel that you deserve quiet time, on this special occasion, to devote some thought to them. So, let’s just take a minute, in honor of those that have cared about us all along the way. One silent minute.

Whomever you’ve been thinking about, imagine how grateful they must be, that during your silent times, you remember how important they are to you. It’s not the honors and the prizes, and the fancy outsides of life which ultimately nourish our souls. It’s the knowing that we can be trusted. That we never have to fear the truth. That the bedrock of our lives, from which we make our choices, is very good stuff.

There’s a neighborhood song that is meant for the child in each of us, and I’dlike to give you the words of that song right now. “It’s you I like, it’s not the things you wear. It’s not the way you do your hair, but it’s you I like. The way you are right now, the way down deep inside you. Not the things that hide you. Not your caps and gowns, they’re just beside you. But it’s you I like. Every part of you. Your skin, your eyes, your feelings. Whether old or new, I hope that you remember, even when you're feeling blue, that it’s you I like. It’s you, yourself, it’s you. It’s you I like.”

And what that ultimately means, of course, is that you don't ever have to do anything sensational for people to love you. When I say it’s you I like, I’m talking about that part of you that knows that life is far more than anything you can ever see, or hear, or touch. That deep part of you, that allows you to stand for those things, without which humankind cannot survive. Love that conquers hate. Peace that rises triumphant over war. And justice that proves more powerful than greed.

So, in all that you do in all of your life, I wish you the strength and the grace to make those choices which will allow you and your neighbor to become the best of whoever you are. Congratulations to you all.

他是一位牧师，一档常青的美国儿童节目的创始者，一位深深爱着每一位儿童的“邻居”，一个总是温柔、缓慢而坚定地说出很重要的东西的信仰者，在国家人心惶惶之际的一颗安定丸。

许久没有认真地书写，以至一篇影评写得如此艰难，磕磕巴巴的，总觉得哪里不对劲。把脑袋倒空，目光落在窗外错落交织的竹子上，回顾纪录片的主人公罗杰斯先生的一生，回想罗杰斯先生对于我究竟意味着什么。

斯通纳猝不及防地出现了，他那平凡而坚忍的一生，我该怎么形容？始终目光如炬，步步艰难而步步进，我无意彰显所谓的优良品质，我只是看到一个人如何在真正意义上诞生了，诞生之后凭着本能走完漫长的一生了，行走过程也即生命的完成，时时刻刻。那样的一生是简洁的，简洁而不乏力。他是我愿意一遍又一遍去读的故事，每一次的阅读都无比热切地汲取着养育我生命的阳光雨露。我在想，这些曾经带给我深刻触动的生命故事，他们都在共同述说着什么？罗杰斯先生的故事，是否也在无意中回应着我的所求？

罗杰斯先生的生命同样“简洁”。他的一生投注于一件事——儿童电视节目；这一件事贯穿了一个坚实的信仰——爱；他的诠释是缓缓而出的，有着始终如一的平定、坚实，如传道者一样。

这信仰源于基督教，如无意外，罗杰斯理应成为一名牧师，走着属于牧师的传教之路。出于偶然，罗杰斯看到了时下儿童电视节目的无聊、滑稽、虚浮、嘈杂，根本不利于儿童身心健康，他相信一档贴近儿童心灵，以平等尊重的姿态与儿童进行对话的节目，是可以发生魔力的，在娱乐喧嚣的大环境下。于是，一档叫《Mister Rogers' Neighborhood》节目诞生了，节目的开头，罗杰斯先生推门而入，笑脸盈盈地对你唱着：

It is a beautiful day in this neighborhood,

A beautiful day for a neighborhood,

Would you be mine? Could you be mine?

“neighborhood”意味着什么？用项飚的话来说，那是几近消失的“附近”。人掉进了两种极端中，要么聚焦在超越性的宏大叙事，要么只关心自己，久而久之，人将陷入越来越无力而孤单的境遇中，那种具体而微的人和人之间的关系变得比较松散。出路在哪里呢？“个人的意义与尊严出路不在于个人，一定是在于关系”，因此，要在“附近”也即neighborhood构建出爱的关系，罗杰斯早在六十多年前洞察到人的精神困境与出路，这是领悟了基督教关于“爱”的精髓后，对人与关系有的一份理解与关怀。

而在建设关系前，首要的是看见自己、爱自己，这是罗杰斯几十年如一日，不遗余力地总是在告诉你的：你值得被爱，你也有爱的能力。“知道内心深处有某样东西，可以帮助我们成就自己。”

当你的目光温柔地抚摸着身边的每一个人，并试图与之对话，爱就开始流淌。罗杰斯先生，正是在通过电视这一媒介，与电视机前的每一个人，进行深入心灵的对话，跨越时空地构建爱的关系。

这份爱的关系是怎么构建的呢？首先的，关键的，最重要的，是他带着全然的虔诚、尊重、聆听与看见，走向每一个孩子，每一个人，继而让每一个人走向自己。从他和孩子们的互动中，你会明显地感受到他绝对的真诚，你会看到一位卓越的聆听者，在专注的聆听和真诚的只言片语中，试图融化所有外在的坚硬，让人心甘情愿地把自己的柔软、脆弱、本真呈现于外，当这些东西被述说，被看见，人反而赢得了由内而外的、更为强壮的保护伞。

他拒绝以暴力、无厘头、花哨、速度等方式夺取观众的眼球，实在是当时电视节目中的一股清流。在节目里，他几十年如一日地唱着歌开门、从衣柜里拿出一件鲜亮的针织外套，坐在椅子上换一双鞋，以此为标志进入罗杰斯的一天；他从容地做着一天里该做的事，时而慢悠悠地喂鱼、泡脚、散步、聊天，甚至在一分钟里什么也不做，让观众静静地等待；即便呈现出日常的状态，罗杰斯的节目不同于“楚门的世界”那样的真人秀，他会通过手偶、幻想世界等儿童能够接受的方式，告诉他们一些重要的事情，如社会新闻或时下热议的话题；在当时种族歧视的美国，他公然邀请黑人演员作为节目的常驻嘉宾，并和他一起洗脚；他理解并支持同性恋......他的节目在当时有着无可比拟的教育价值，罗杰斯的形象也渐渐深入人心，每当国家发生了让人心动荡不安的事情（如总统遇刺、911事件），他总要被请出来说点什么，以抚慰人心。

他总是无比温柔、缓慢、坚定地道出他视之很重要的东西，有点笨拙，绝对诚意。

当一粒种子的根早已扎进土壤深处，无论它的花与叶朝向何处，都是正确的生的方向。正如罗杰斯选择了儿童电视制作作为毕生的事业，他同样在这条特别的道路上履行着“传道者”的职责，坚信“唯一真正能改变世界的东西，是当有人能明白，爱可以传递”。

我想，他没有刻意坚持什么，不过是把一份信仰贯彻一生。我永远难忘水中的罗杰斯，他不紧不慢地游泳，优雅而坚定，游泳后他站在秤上，指针指向143，他要他的体重每天都维持在143磅。143代表什么呢？——“I”是1个字母，“love”是4个字母，“you”是3个字母。写到这里，我想该停笔了，以沉默的敬意献给罗杰斯，以沉默的感激献给读到此处的你。